Falling Down

Author's Note: When I started going through some tough times, I looked around me and saw that other Christians just seemed to go through trials always with a smile on their face and never had a bad day. It wasn't until a dear friend and mentor of mine told me about her experience of loosing her husband did I realize that I had a distorted view of reality. Because of this experience, I feel it is really important to be "real". It is important to me to share my failures as well as successes.

We’ve identified a new training challenge. Bison is a klutz. In protection work, we had Bison on a bungee on a tree and the helper used the sleeve to encourage Bison to jump higher. His lack of coordination showed when he leaped to the end of the bungee, didn’t get his feet under him, and fell on his back. This happened about 4 times. Each time, he just got up, shook it off and tried again.

There are many times in my Christian life that I fall down. This past Sunday is a good example. When I got home from church, I found my husband unconscious at the table. After a quick assessment, I knew that it was a low blood sugar reaction. I wasn’t able to awake him so he couldn’t drink a juice and his glucose “rescue” syringe was expired. I had no choice but to call 911. The paramedics arrived a few moments later. They gave Lester glucose through IV, waited until he could answer some simple questions, and then left.

I have to confess, I didn’t handle the situation well. I was really scared that this happened when I wasn’t home. I just kept thinking, “How could I ever leave him alone again? Would I be in constant fear that I would come home and find him unconscious or worse?” Then I got angry. I thought, “This isn’t fair. After everything else that he has been through in the last year, now this. Why can’t we just be like a normal couple our age? We should be going out for coffee after church, not THIS!” I basically had a rotten attitude about it. The next morning, I had to go back to the office for the first time since the amputation. I woke up filled with anxiety. I knew that I needed to get make this right. I am in the habit of having my prayer time while I shower each morning. I spent that time in prayer confessing my sin. It was pride that made me feel that we deserve something better. I was not thankful for what I have, for the fact that Lester was ok. I thought about Bison falling down and getting back up over and over again, and it reminded me of Proverbs 24:16a, “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again:” I want to be “just” which means “guided by the truth”. Time to get up, shake it off and try again.