Be Still to be Free

One of the cool things about training with a breeder is that the club members get to help “socialize” the puppies each time a new litter comes along. This helps the development of the puppies to be exposed to a variety of different types of people and to be touched and held. Last week, I picked one of the 7 week old puppies we were playing with and she started to squirm violently and scream a little puppy scream. I learned the hard way with Bison that you can not let go of them when they act that way. If you do, they learn that screaming and squirming gets them what they want. Instead, you need to calmly hold them until they are still and quiet, then let them go. She squirmed and kicked and threw such a loud fit that the whole club turned to look at us. This went on for about 30 seconds before she finally held still for a second and I let her go. She ran immediately to my breeder friend to tell her what a mean lady I am.

It seems backward that freedom comes from stillness. Maybe that is why it is such a hard concept for us to grasp in our Christian life. As I write these words, I sit in the hospital with Lester. The doctor told him this morning that his health is declining. His right foot is not healing and if he doesn’t have it removed, he may not be healthy enough in 6 months to have it taken off. We were prepared for the eventuality of the foot and lower leg being removed. But hearing his health assessed in such plain terms was hard for me to hear. I can not imagine life without him and this stark reminder is tough.

I was feeling a little overwhelmed at the possibility of this being our last Christmas together and wondering how I am going to help him get around while he gets used to walking with a prosthetic. I logged in to my laptop to check e-mail and read the daily devotional e-mail that I have sent. Boy what timing! The scripture passage was a phrase from Isaiah 30:15, “in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.” The definition of quietness is “Free of turmoil and agitation; untroubled.” and confidence means “Trust or faith in a person or thing; the state or quality of being certain.” I really needed that reminder today. God knows the plans that he has for Lester. He has a plan for how many Christmases are to come and what the path between looks like. By trusting that my loving God knows best and resting from “turmoil and agitation”, I will have the strength to face the days ahead. I think of how He has always been there for me and how I always seem to have the strength that I need for each day. He isn’t going to fail me now. So again today I choose to trust Him even though I want to kick and scream. Just like the little puppy fretting and whining and wiggling, I finally find peace when I just sit still.