Change the Message

I recently received some feedback on my handling and it was difficult to hear. I was told that I was not clearly communicating and was inconsistent. My first reaction was “no I’m not”, but I really respect the person who gave the feedback and decided that even though it was disconcerting, I needed to take it to heart. About the same time, someone else suggested that I video tape my training sessions in order to get a better understanding of what was happening.

My husband taped Bison and I and it was pretty telling to watch. It was exactly as my friend described, my tone was not clear and consistent. From an observer’s viewpoint, it was easy for me to see how this affected Bison negatively. I realized that I was so focused on what was going on with me, how I was holding the leash, how fast I was walking, and what I was going to do next that I didn’t concentrate on the viewpoint that Bison was seeing. What he saw was the leash fidgeting, the poorly executed commands, the unsure posture... all things that send a mixed message to him. I am determined to change the message.

It is easy to draw a parallel to another area in my life that I am also working on. That is the message that I am sending with my life. Being a caregiver for an ill spouse, it is easy to focus on the doctor appointments, the set backs, the grind of trying to put in a honest day at work while wanting to be home, fretting about the housework piling up and the dismay at how tired out I feel. What I realized though is that I still need to concentrate on the viewpoint that the outside world is seeing. In my heart, I want so badly to be a good testimony. I want others to see how good God is even in the midst of a trial. How He gives me strength when I think I can’t go on any more, and how He sends so many blessings through it all. When I focus on self, the Savior can not show through. I am sending a mixed message. Just like watching the video, I have started to really see myself and not liking what I see. I am determined to change the message.

As a first step in changing my focus, my husband, Lester, and I have taken on a challenge. We determined that every morning, afternoon, and evening we will each think of something for which we are thankful. This activity is based on Psalm 92:1 – 2, “It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,” and Psalm 55:16 - 17 “As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me. Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud : and he shall hear my voice.”

Reader, won’t you join us in this challenge?

Going Through Trials (Rally Trial- Part 1)

Bison and I participated in our first UKC Rally Obedience event recently. Some of my club members were going to compete and invited us along. We haven’t trained specifically for Rally, but the commands are very similar to what we are working on for SchH. After looking through the requirements, I decided to give it a try. It looked fun and I figured that it could only help with some of the distraction problems we have been working on.

I went into the event not even ever seeing a Rally course before. I didn’t think we could qualify (receive a passing score without any disqualifying errors), but we qualified for 2 out of 4 trials we entered. Most importantly, going through the trials helped me see what we really need to work on, both with the ones that we passed and the ones that we didn’t pass. I have a list of things to train on before we go to the next trial.

It is the same with trials that we go through in our lives. Psalm 119:71 says “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” When we go through tough times, we learn about ourselves. Even when we fail, we learn what we need to work on and with training in God’s Word, so we can be ready to pass the next trial.

The Search for Perfection

We love having two dogs. Now that Moose is gone, there is a hole in our family. I’ve spent a lot of time researching and talking to several people about a puppy. I have much more experience and knowledge since the last time we selected a puppy, just enough to be dangerous. Also, now that I am participating in SchH training I have many more requirements. During one of the conversations I had with a breeder, she reminded me that “no dog is perfect”. She was right, no matter how much I research and plan, the puppy is going to have some challenge. It might be an aspect of temperament, something physical, or just might be a challenge to train. Being reminded of this helped me relax and make the final decision to be put on the waiting list for the litter I had been obsessing over for weeks. It was reassuring to not have the pressure of finding perfection.

This lesson came in handy last week. My husband, Lester, had an infection in an ulcer that he had on his foot. We had been to the wound clinic the following week and they prescribed some really major antibiotics. They drew a line on his foot where the infection was on the foot, noticeable by the red color, and told me to watch to make sure the infection didn’t spread. I changed his bandages every night, but didn’t see anything to be concerned about until the night before his follow up appointment. He had several water blisters on his toes. One of the toes was a really dark purple color, almost black and there was a bad odor. I knew this wasn’t good, really not good. Due to the kidney failure and the diabetes, his circulation is bad and his feet are high risk.

The next day when the bandages were removed in the office, two toes were very dark and the smell was horrible. After being examined by three different doctors, the recommendation was made that he be admitted to the hospital. They also wanted to do an exploratory surgery the next day to determine the extent of the infection and how much circulation was left. Preliminary examination showed no pulse inside the “infection line” that was drawn on his foot the week before. The doctor explained that it was likely that they would need to remove one or more toes and as much as his leg up to the knee.

I was overwhelmed. Having seen the state of his toes, I knew they would have to come off. I knew that the hospital stay would be several days and the recovery months. The lack of sleep, extra chores, special dog care, and stress ran through my mind in seconds. In addition to the physical demands, I knew that this would be very emotional for Lester. Would I be able to handle seeing him in so much physical and emotional pain? How would I be able to change the dressings and see his foot missing toes? I am running out of vacation time at work and I knew that in addition to the hospital stay there would be weeks and weeks of check ups and therapy. How could I fit it all in? I began to pray for strength and quoted in my mind every verse I knew about strength, begging God to help us get through this. Claiming his promises, I included in one of the text messages I sent from the doctor’s office “His strength is perfect”. Taken from, 2 Corinthians 12:9, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” I knew that I did not have the strength to get through the days ahead, but HE did!

The next morning as I prepared to go back to the hospital to be with Lester before his surgery, I read an e-mail from my sister, Nancy. The only thing in the e-mail was the verse 1 John 4:16, “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” It really caught my attention and I looked up the chapter to read it in context. I stopped at verse 18 when I read, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment...” I have read this verse a million times, but that morning it became so clear to me what it meant. Perfection. His strength is perfect and his love is perfect. I thought of how much I love Lester and how much I want to be there for him, and my love is just human, selfish love. How much more would God, in his perfect love be there for Lester, and for me? With God with us, we have nothing to fear. He doesn’t want us to be in the torment that fear brings. Perfect love leaves no room for questioning, no room for fear. Lester was EXACTLY where he was meant to be that day. I was exactly where I was supposed to be that day and God was with us. He offered his perfect strength where I had none and His perfect love when my faith was small. I felt peace wash over me yet again. Where my search for perfection in a puppy came up short and my search for perfection in myself came up short, my search for perfection in my God did not.

Author’s note:
Lester did go into surgery that day. During the pre-surgery exam, we saw that all four of his small toes were black. The doctor told us that the x-rays showed that the infection was in the bone. His toes had gangrene. They performed the amputation surgery removing about half of his foot. He is out of the hospital and healing nicely. I am overwhelmed at the goodness of God and how smoothly the hospital stay went. His father, sister and brother-in-law came up to visit. It was really nice to not have to go home to an empty house, plus they did a whole list of chores around the house to help me get caught up. Someone anonymously cleaned out my front flower bed, and one of my dog club friends drove over an hour to play with Bison three different times. Countless others visited at the hospital, sent e-mails, text messages, or cards. But most importantly, many people prayed for us.

Let it Go

Author’s Note: In the last entry I talked about Bison having a great attitude, but lest anyone think he is perfect, today’s entry is about one of Bison’s challenges.

In SchH obedience and protection, dogs are trained in an excited state called drive. There are many methods, but a widely used and excepted method is “the game”, taught by world champion Ivan Balabanov. (See links list for more information) It would take several paragraphs to explain this method. In summary, the handler uses a toy like a ball or a tug to engage with the dog. The handler elevates the dog’s level of excitement by animating the toy, but not allowing the dog to capture it. The dog is then rewarded for correct behavior by allowing him/her to tug for, or win the toy.

I have to use a modified version of this method because, once in drive, Bison absolutely refuses to let go of the tug. When he latches on, all training has to stop until I can convince him to let go. I also have to spend hours training him to release the tug. Ultimately he has to learn that to get what he really wants, the opportunity to do more commands and to receive the reward of interacting with me, he has to let go.

Bison isn’t the only one with this problem. Many people are similar in that they are latched on to their past. They hold on so tightly that they can’t move forward. The apostle Paul writes in Philippians 3:12 – 16, “12Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 15Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. 16Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.” If anyone had a reason to feel guilty and to hold on to the past, it was Paul. Prior to his conversion, he dedicated his life to persecuting Christians, causing many to be put to death. In this passage, he admits that he is not perfect but he has to forget the past and look toward the future. He urges other Christians to do the same.

Are you like Bison? Are you latching on so hard to the mistakes of the past that you can't receive the blessings of the future? Let it go.

The Makings of a Dog Lover and a God Lover

I’ve owned dogs since my marriage in 1995. I wasn’t around dogs much growing up and didn’t really like them. Until the day my husband talked me into getting a puppy. We ended up going down to the Humane Society. From the moment I saw his cute little furry face and big puppy belly, I was in love. All his litter mates had been adopted already. He needed hernia surgery that would cost extra. We were rescuing him. The adventure started three days later when the sweet little angel, Bear, ran non-stop from one end of our tiny rented home to the other end for two hours straight. But it was the beginning of my relationship with dogs. I knew next to nothing, but it didn’t matter to Bear. I was the primary trainer in the house. I made a ton of mistakes, but he loved me anyway and we learned together. Since then, there has been Gator, a German Shepherd who we lost to bloat, and Moose, a Golden/Shepherd mix who we will lose in a short time to cancer. Finally, Bison, registered Indo vom Triton, who is the main focus of this blog (pictured on the right).

This beginning makes me think of how we come to God. I was only four years old when I decided to give Him my life. My sister told me about John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” She explained that we can go to heaven when we die if we ask forgiveness for our sin. Even at the age of four, I knew I had done bad things. I don’t remember if she told me the verse at the time, but 1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I bowed my head right there in the garage and with the faith of a child asked God to forgive me for my sins and take me to heaven when I die. In the church world, we call that “getting saved” because of Romans 10:13, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

My relationship with God started that day and just like with Bear, I knew next to nothing. It didn’t matter to God, He loved me just as I was. Through the years my relationship has grown deeper and sweeter. Not only am I a dog lover, but I am a God lover.